If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
