I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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