Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
