And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize