This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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