It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
