i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
