Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
