Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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