I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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