My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize