He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
