I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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