The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
