But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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