bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
