She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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