i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
