WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
