His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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