I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
