she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have demons in me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
