so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
