Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
