I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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