I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
