I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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