If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
