if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
