highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
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the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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