You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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