a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
