You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also, beer. Big fan.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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