apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
