Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I need a beard to bite.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
