also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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