yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
