we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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