i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
