it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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