how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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