Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
