You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
