we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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