I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
