we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
