And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
