did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
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Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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