not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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