Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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