I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
