and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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