my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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