In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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