sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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