hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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