my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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