What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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