Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
