'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
